


But Tonight, We're Something

by midnightskydan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Aftercare, Blowjobs, Bottom!Dan, Degradation, Dom/sub, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Objectification, One Night Stands, Sub-Drop, Subspace, Teeny bit of angst, excessive dirty talk, safe sane & consensual (per usual), top!phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 18:41:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21481033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightskydan/pseuds/midnightskydan
Summary: In which Dan and Phil are nothing. If anything, they can’t stand each other. But they’re nothing. Even if every time they see each other, they end up having sex.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 170





	But Tonight, We're Something

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: mentions of one-night stands, d/s dynamic, degradation, objectification, & sub-drop 
> 
> (a “sub-drop” is sadness or anxiety that a submissive partner can feel once endorphins crash and adrenaline floods their body after a scene. it’s a form of postcoital dysphoria specific to bdsm or dom/sub dynamics)

Dan and Phil were nothing. Nothing but two people with mutual friends, a small rivalry, and the inability to let a one-night stand be a one-night stand.

They only ever met at these random social events, usually networking. They would quip remarks at each other, rolling their eyes. Both were successful men with a little too much in common that they refused to acknowledge. The rivalry began with small stupid things. Phil found Dan to be too sarcastic and a little annoying, and Dan thought Phil seemed a bit fake, finding his façade a bit forced. The rivalry grew with the insecurity of worrying that the other was more successful and more attractive than themselves. It grew further from the insecurity that came with realizing their attraction to one another. And, of course, there was a twisted sort of pleasure from the childish quips and remarks thrown toward each other. Perhaps they just liked the attention.

The first time anything had happened, Dan was convinced he’d be the one to get Phil to fall apart, and when Phil managed to persuade him otherwise, he was a bit sour about it. When Phil convinced Dan to beg for him, to play submissive, well… Dan’s ego couldn’t take that, no matter how fucking hot it was.

And the next time, when Dan managed to get Phil down on his knees, Phil’s ego couldn’t entirely take it either. They were each other’s sexual Achilles’s heels, so to speak.

So, their rivalry had found a new place to be expressed: sex. Still, they continued to tell everyone and anyone that they couldn’t stand one and other.

That wasn’t a false statement, either. The men really couldn’t stand each other. They couldn’t stand seeing each other, wanting each other so badly, and not being able to resist the temptation to go home with the other. They couldn’t stand waking up in the morning to an empty bed, or to the other asleep beside them only to remember that it wouldn’t work out, and having to leave.

They tried to keep away from each other. They had managed it for most of the year, every year, ever since the first time. But, inevitably, a few nights a year, they’d end up at the same parties, weddings, or birthdays, through their mutual friends or friends of friends. And never once during an event that they were both in the same place, did they not end up in bed together.

Most of the year, Dan and Phil were nothing. But those dozens of events spread across the year, they were so much.

Dan had his eye on a man across the bar. He had stubble, dark, messy hair, and a sharp, squared, jawline. Dan had sat behind him during the wedding ceremony and was confident they’d be going home together that night if Dan had anything to do with it. Most of the reason Dan even agreed to come to these networking social events was the promise of getting laid.

But his plans were ruined by a simple voice.

“Hi,” the voice spoke cheerily. That voice.

Dan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, turning to Phil. “Hey,” he answered, not suppressing the sigh.

Phil was unbothered. “Wouldn’t bother with him,” he said to Dan, sipping his drink and glancing at the man Dan had been sizing up.

“Why? Is he straight?” Dan asked, sipping his own drink.

“Nope,” Phil replied, “Just not your type.”

Dan frowned. “Oh yeah? And how would you know?”

“Because I know what he likes,” Phil replied with a suggestive smirk.

“Oh?” Dan asked, rolling his eyes, “And what does he like?”

“The same things you like,” Phil replied, grinning at himself.

Dan sighed through his nose. “You realize that I’m not a bottom, right?” Dan spoke quietly.

Phil smirked. “Of course, you aren’t, love,” he spoke, bringing a hand up to lightly drag his fingers over Dan’s neck. Dan shivered, sucking in a breath. “Either way,” Phil said, taking his hand back, “He couldn’t handle you.” Phil gave a smirk. “See you tonight.”

God, Dan hated him.

~•~•~

“What about him?” Phil’s friend asked, gesturing to a dirty-blonde haired fellow across the room, laughing and drinking with friends.

Phil shrugged. “Not my type, I guess.” He played with the straw in his drink, looking down.

“Oh, come on, he’s gorgeous! You’re the one who said you wanted to get lai—oh,” she realized with a disapproving frown. “Dan’s here, huh?”

Phil frowned. “What? So, what if he is?”

“Phil, when are you going to ask him out for real?” his friend asked.

“What do you mean, ‘ask him out?’ I don’t even like him!” Phil argued.

His friend rolled her eyes. “Of course not. You just hook up every single chance you get and have amazing sex,” she spoke.

“That’s all it is,” Phil spoke. “Just sex. Dan and I are nothing, alright?” Phil said, surprised at the disappointment that seemed to sneak into his voice. He wasn’t upset about it.

~•~•~

Dan walked up to Phil, the party had calmed, and most people had begun to leave. Dan sighed and stopped in front of Phil, looking at him.

“You’re coming home with me, yeah?” Phil asked with an infuriating smirk.

Dan grabbed him by the wrist. “I hate you,” he replied, dragging Phil after him to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, Dan pushed Phil against the wall, kissing him. Phil pushed him away.

“Ah, ah, ah, baby,” he murmured. “I know how you want me tonight.”

“Fuck you,” Dan replied. Phil could always tell somehow. Dan had also known since Phil had first walked into the venue who would do what tonight. Still, he put on an act. He wasn’t going to make it easy. Wouldn’t give in so easily.

Phil smiled, grabbing Dan’s waist, and easily reversing their positions. He pushed Dan against the wall, moving his head so close Dan could feel his breath. “You’re always so fun,” he murmured teasingly, “So cute and feisty.”

“Shut up,” Dan replied breathily.

“Sorry, of course,” Phil replied, “You don’t do compliments, do you, baby? You never want compliments, hm?” Phil nosed at Dan’s neck. “You just want to be my dirty little slut, don’t you, sweetheart? My bratty cock-whore, huh?”

“Bite me,” Dan’s voice was too breathy for him to come across as annoyed as he wanted to.

Phil just smiled. “Who am I to refuse?” he asked, sinking his teeth into Dan’s neck. Dan cried out pitifully.

Phil pulled back, admiring the teeth marks that stayed behind. “Come on, Dan,” Phil spoke, backing away. “I don’t care how desperate of a slut you are. I’m not fucking you in a damn public toilet.”

Dan wanted to say something back, but his mind got stuck on the ‘fucking you’ bit, and he couldn’t help but remember how much he loved that.

“My place’s closer,” he sputtered, a little too quickly for the air of nonchalance that he hadn’t yet given up on.

Phil smirked. “C’mon then,” he said, walking out of the bathroom, leaving Dan to trail after him like a puppy.

The cab ride to Dan’s was hell. Phil was planting kisses to Dan’s neck the entire time and whispering the filthiest things so only Dan could hear.

“Mm, I’m going to fuck you so good, Dan. You know how I always do. Make you scream for it,” he murmured between kisses to Dan’s neck.

He trailed a hand into Dan’s lap, moving over his slight bulge. “Already so hard for me, baby,” he murmured. “You’re so easy. Try so hard to be a brat, but you love it so much. Love the idea of being pinned down, fucked by a big cock, and shown your place.”

“Jesus Christ,” Dan cursed. “I hate you so fucking much.”

Phil smirked. “You’re precious.”

Dan was glad he wasn’t wearing skinny jeans; his slightly-too-big dress pants were a mercy for climbing the stairs up to his flat with a hard-on.

As soon as they made it to the front door, Phil moved behind Dan, pressing his body flush against Dan’s. He kissed at Dan’s neck, running his hand down over Dan’s thighs.

“Fuck,” Dan breathed, mostly in pleasure, and somewhat in frustration, as he tried to get his keys into the lock. Dan didn’t think he’d ever wanted someone as badly as he wanted Phil Lester, and he hated it.

He finally managed to get the door open, and Phil had him against the wall yet again. Dan’s eyes fell closed as he leaned his head back against the wal2l, Phil’s lips on his neck, and his hands sliding beneath Dan’s shirt.

“Such a slut for it,” Phil murmured.

Dan moaned, fingers moving down Phil’s back. He pulled his hands back to Phil’s front, pushing off his suit jacket, leaving it discarded on the floor.

Phil smirked at him and moved his arms around Dan’s waist, beneath his jacket. He leaned forward and took Dan’s lips between his own, kissing him. The kiss soon turned desperate, and Phil shoved Dan’s jacket off as they stumbled down the hall and toward the bedroom.

They ended up making out against Dan’s bedroom door, and Phil shoved a thigh between Dan’s legs. Dan couldn’t help himself. As Phil unbuttoned Dan’s shirt, he ground up against it.

“So desperate,” Phil murmured, “Such fucking slut.”

Dan moaned a touch too loudly, and Phil chuckled, pushing Dan’s shirt off.

“Bed,” he murmured, pulling back.

Dan hated himself for how fast he complied, stripping off his slacks and climbing onto the bed.

Phil unbuttoned his own shirt, tossing it aside. He climbed onto the bed as well. “How do you want to do this, baby?” Phil asked. “What do you want, hm?”

Dan blushed, not meeting Phil’s eyes. “Fuck, Phil, I want you to...”

“Ah, ah, look at me,” Phil ordered.

Dan glanced at Phil. He could feel the blush on his cheeks. “I... I want you to fuck me.”

Phil smirked, leaning down to kiss him. “Of course, baby,” he murmured. Phil stripped of his slacks and pants with no shame, climbing onto the bed and straddling Dan’s thighs. He leaned down to kiss him hard again, hands moving around his stomach, following his ribs, pressing his cold hands into Dan’s hot flesh. Dan squirmed, biting his lip.

Phil pulled back and moved down Dan’s legs a bit, so he might lean down and press kisses over Dan’s collar. He bit and sucked at the skin, pulling it up with his teeth and then sucking dark hickeys into it. They always tore each other apart like animals, and God did Dan love it.

“Fucking get on with it,” Dan breathed.

Dan gasped at the sudden slap against his thigh, and Phil bit down on his skin again, growling. “You don’t tell me what to do, slut,” he breathed, bringing his hand back to slide over Dan’s chest. He dragged his fingernails roughly over Dan’s sides.

So, Phil was going to play it like that tonight. Full domination, full hate sex mode. Dan wasn’t unhappy with that.

“Oh, fucking what?” he asked, breathless, knowing he’d get put in his place for the remarks. “I do whatever I want.”

That same sort of primal growl reached Dan’s ears again, and the slap against his thigh was much more forceful this time. Phil’s hand came back to his thigh, gripping, fingernails digging into the skin.

“If you want the pleasure of being my fuck-toy tonight, pretty boy, then I suggest you shut the fuck up,” Phil said, voice deep and gravely.

Dan whined, hips bucking up.

“Jesus,” Phil breathed. “Such a horny little bitch, I swear.” He climbed off Dan. “If you’re so eager than show me that you deserve to get fucked,” Phil said, moving to sit against the headboard. “Cmon,” he instructed, “Suck me off like a good whore. We’ll see if you deserve to get your slutty ass filled.”

Dan moaned. Phil never let down with the dirty talk when he dominated, speaking absolute filth as they fucked.

Dan sat up, rolling onto his stomach in front of Phil. This was something Dan was good at. He prided himself in his blow job abilities.

Dan began by kissing at Phil’s thighs, which quickly evolved to biting and sucking. Even if Dan was meant to be doing as told, he’d leave his own marks for Phil as well. It didn’t take long for Phil to become impatient.

“Stop teasing,” he said. “Take me like a good toy.”

Dan did as told, moving up and taking the head of Phil’s hard and flushed cock into his mouth. He sucked lightly, allowing himself to taste the bits of precum already bubbling up at the tip. Dan teased at the head with licks and sucks, swirling his tongue and dipping into his slit.

Just before Dan knew Phil would complain, he sunk all the way down in one practiced move, taking Phil to the hilt. Phil’s cock pressed against his throat, and Dan gagged but refused to come back up for air, breathing through his nose.

Phil threaded his fingers through Dan’s hair. “Christ,” he breathed. “Forget how fucking good you are at this,” he said.

Dan reveled in the praise, bobbing his head on Phil’s cock. His spit ran down Phil’s cock as he moved back up to swirl his tongue around the head, teasing at the top of Phil’s foreskin, trailing his tongue around it entirely.

Phil’s thighs shook a bit as he sunk back down again, Phil’s breaths getting a bit quicker and heavier.

“Dan,” Phil groaned. “God.” His hips stuttered. “Fuck. Need me to stay still?” Once, he’d fucked Dan’s face hard, shoving his cock down Dan’s throat. Dan had moaned and brought himself off in his hand, cumming before Phil even did. Now, Dan nodded the best he could with Phil’s cock in his mouth, so Phil tried to keep his hips as still as possible.

Dan took Phil all the way again and rose back up quickly. He continued like this, practically fucking his own face on Phil’s cock until Phil had to pull him off by the hair.

“Shit,” Phil breathed. “Your mouth was fucking made for cock,” he said. He didn’t let go of Dan’s hair, tugging him to the right. Dan followed, rolling onto his back onto the bed.

“Where’s the lube and condoms, pretty boy?” Phil asked, rolling over to kiss down Dan’s jaw again.

“Bathroom,” Dan managed to answer, cock already hard and falling toward his stomach. “I’ll—” Phil sucked at the soft flesh where Dan’s jaw met his neck, and Dan whimpered. “I’ll get it, fuck.”

Phil pulled away, and Dan rolled off the bed, legs already shaky from just how turned on he was. He walked to the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror to see what a wreck he was. A stray curl had fallen into his face and was now stuck to his forehead with sweat. The rest of his hair was tousled and messy. Hickeys lined his collarbones up to his neck. The little patch of red on his cheek looked just as dark as some of the hickeys.

Dan quickly grabbed a condom and his bottle of lube from the drawer, hurrying back to the bed. He found Phil fisting himself, despite Dan only being gone a sort moment.

“Fuck,” Dan breathed, crawling back onto the bed.

Phil took the lube and condoms. “Lie down or hands and knees, whatever you want,” Phil breathed, opening the lube bottle.

Dan elected to remain on his back. He loved the feeling of Phil’s skin pressed against his as they did this, being able to wrap his legs around Phil, reach up and scratch at his back. He shifted, grabbing a pillow to prop himself up with. Phil took a moment to just look him over, biting his lip. Dan hoped he wasn’t blushing.

“Want me to prep you?” Phil asked, words a little slurred together, as he was too preoccupied with looking at Dan to properly speak. Dan laid back and moved his ass forward, giving Phil a good look.

“You don’t have to,” Dan replied, implying that he’d prefer it.

Phil smirked. “Please,” he said, applying some lube to his fingers. “It’s my pleasure. Love to watch you squirm.” He brought his fingers to Dan’s hole.

“I do not squirm—” He gasped. “Fuck, that’s cold, Phil. Jesus.”

“God, you’re so high maintenance,” Phil teased, pressing a fingertip past Dan’s entrance.

Dan moaned, throwing his head back. “Oh, hurry up.”

“So desperate for it, aren’t you?” Phil asked, teasing tone leading back into the confident, dominant, one he’d been using earlier.

“Fuck off,” Dan breathed, head thrown back.

Phil pressed in further, finding Dan’s spot with surprising ease. He supposed that he knew Dan’s body better than he had realized. Dan whined when he pressed against his prostate, walls squeezing against his finger.

“Look at you,” Phil breathed, hungrily. “You are desperate. Say it for me, darling,” he sighed, pulling his finger back.

“Fuck,” Dan breathed, facing a choice between his pride and the surge of pleasure that came with Phil’s fingers against his prostate. He went for the latter, as he always seemed to do. “God. I’m desperate. It feels fucking good,” he admitted, eyes shut.

Phil hummed, pleases. “Slut.” He pressed a second slick finger in alongside his first, watching Dan’s expression for discomfort and finding none. “Open so well for me,” he breathed. “Such a whore. Just waiting to get stuffed with cock.”

Dan never seemed to get used to such filth spilling past of usually-so-polite Phil’s lips. He knew just what to say to make Dan flush and moan and squirm. “Please,” was all he could manage.

Phil pressed up against his spot again, sending a jolt of pleasure through his body.

“Fuck,” Dan cried, a bit loud for the thin walls of his flat. “Hurry up, fuck. Want you to fuck me.”

“Know, baby,” Phil answered smoothly, pressing one more finger past Dan’s rim. “Just want me to use you, hm? Just wanna be a cock-sleeve for me, don’t you?”

“Fuck. Yes, fuck. Whatever just--just fuck me,” Dan breathed, letting go of his pride and embracing the feeling of inferiority that Phil brought with his words. He did just want to be used. Fuck, he needed it. “Please,” he whimpered.

Phil chuckled, causing Dan to blush. He pulled his fingers out. “You beg so well, sweetheart. Just want to be taken and fucked, don’t you?”

Phil’s words were almost as erotic as the sound of a condom wrapper being torn open. Dan whimpered, pulling his legs back and opening himself up for Phil.

Phil settled the head of his cock against Dan’s entrance, dragging himself over Dan’s rim to tease the man. Dan whimpered, pressing his ass back against Phil.

“Patience, bitch,” Phil breathed, a hand feeling up Dan’s thigh. “Think you deserve to get fucked? After teasing me like that and being such a brat?” Phil dragged his cock up Dan’s crack, pressing it up slickly against Dan’s own dick.

Dan whined, flicking his wide eyes up to look at Phil. He wiggles his bum, his and Phil’s cocks sliding against each other. “Please, Phil,” he whined. “Want you. Want your cock.”

Phil grunted, biting his lip. He pulled back, nudging his cock between Dan’s cheeks again. Slowly, he pressed into Dan, guiding Dan’s legs over his shoulders. Phil held Dan’s thighs, leaning over him and pushing all the way in. Dan’s eyes were wide and watery, looking up at Phil dazedly. Phil bottomed out, body giving a small shudder.

“Okay, Dan?” he asked in a murmur, rubbing a hand over Dan’s thigh. 

“Yes, yes,” Dan breathed, reaching around Phil’s neck to tug at the hair on the back of his head. “Fuck me,” he breathed

Phil steadily began to set up a pace, thrusting in and in and out of Dan and pressing deep into him, brushing past his prostate. “Fuck?” Phil grunted, watching as Dan opened up for him and took him in with every thrust. “Such a whore,” he breathed, squeezing Dan’s thigh.

“Yes,” Dan breathed. “Love your cock,” he whined. “Fuck me so good, Phil.” Dan closed his eyes again, focusing on the pleasure. Phil was filling him up so well, fucking into him hard enough to make the bed shake.

Dan reached down, taking his cock in hand. Before he could give himself the beginning of a wank, Phil grabbed his wrist, pulling it away and pinning it back up against the headboard. His thrust became faster and harder, and Dan whined. He wanted to touch himself, to cum. Still, it also felt fucking amazing to be held and controlled and made to experience the pleasure until it felt overwhelming.

“Feel so fucking good, Dan,” Phil grunted, nails digging into the soft flesh of Dan’s thighs as he got closer, thrusting more erratically onto Dan.

“Wanna touch myself,” Dan whined. “Please, please. So close. Wanna cum.”

Phil let his wrist go. “Fuck, cum for me, Dan. Get off so much on being a cock-whore, cum while I fuck you,” Phil’s words were a bit slurred, interrupted by gasps and grunts.

Dan brought his hand to his cock, stroking himself in time with Phil’s thrusts, getting faster and faster. The warm knot in his abdomen became tighter and tighter until he was cumming across his chest with no warning. The orgasm felt like it lasted ages. Dan was caught in the bliss for a few seconds as ropes of cum landed against his stomach. He came down slowly, whining.

Phil continues to fuck into him, kissing at Dan’s neck. “Ungh,” he whined unceremoniously against Dan’s neck. “Gonna cum,” he breathed before he was groaning and shooting his load into the condom. He fucked Dan through his orgasm, coming down after a moment. 

Phil slipped out of Dan, both of them breathing heavily. Dan watched sleepily as Phil tugged off his condom and tossed it in the bin. He sat back on his legs for a moment, catching his breath. Dan leaned back and closed his eyes, still seeing stars.

Dan felt the bed shift after a few moments, once his breathing had steadied. He opened his eyes to see Phil had gotten out of bed. Dan’s eyes widened as Phil began pulling his clothes back on. Dan was abruptly filled with an uncomfortable feeling of dread.

“Phil?” he asked, unexpected panic lacing his voice.

Phil looked at Dan, “Yeah?”

“You...you can’t...you never leave before morning...” Dan’s heart was beating too fast.

Phil’s brow furrowed. Dan was usually just quiet and embarrassed after they finished, not meeting Phil’s eyes as they both fell quickly asleep. But now he was staring at Phil with wide eyes.

Phil smirked. “What, like you want me to stay?” He meant it teasingly.

When Dan didn’t reply with a snarky remark, Phil turned to look Dan over. He looked so vulnerable. Phil’s slight smile dropped. “Dan?” he asked softly.

Dan shook his head, and Phil caught a glimpse of wetness in his eyes before Dan buried his face in the pillow.

“Do you want me to stay?” Phil asked quietly, voice slightly disbelieving.

Dan shrugged in his bed, gripping the pillow. “I...I don’t know,” he replied, voice shaky.

“We don’t...You and I, we’re not...” Phil found himself tripping over his words. Was Dan asking for...more?

Phil must’ve said the wrong thing. Before he could even figure out how to complete his thought, Dan had burst into tears.

“Oh, shit, um, Dan, hey.” Phil crouched down beside the bed. “Are you alright?”

Dan let out a sob, embarrassed and confused by his feelings. He felt so...so used. Which was strange, because he’d never felt that way after he and Phil did this, he always felt sated. And nothing different had really happened tonight, aside from Phil starting to leave before the morning.

Yet there Dan was, unable to stop crying. He could still hear Phil saying all those things he’d said while they’d fucked, but this time they didn’t bring the same euphoria. This time they made Dan want to die.

“What is it, Dan?” Phil asked, “Tell me what’s wrong.” His voice was so gentle. So unlike what it had been when it was murmuring insults into Dan’s ear.

They only did this a few times a year. There was never any real conversation. They fucked, and they did nothing more. Maybe Dan  _ was _ just a slut. A whore. Phil probably thought all of that was true.

“Dan?” Phil asked again.

Dan sobbed. “I...I don’t know, I just—” He let out another sob. “—I feel so shit all of a sudden...” He felt so stupid.

But then Phil was rubbing his back gently and murmuring something softly. “Okay. It’s okay, Dan. I’m right here. I won’t leave if you don’t want me to.”

Dan sniffled before sobbing yet again. “I’m sorry,” he cried. “I’m so stupid I—I just feel like you...like you hate me,” he said, trying to make sense of what he was feeling. “I...I feel so...worthless.”

Phil finally made the connection as to what had happened. Phil had dominated Dan, degraded him, called him names. And then he’d gotten up to leave when they were done. Dan had never reacted this way in the past, but it must’ve been because Phil was just going to up and leave the same night. To use Dan and go. God, Phil was so stupid.

“Oh, Dan. Oh, oh my god. Dan, I’m so sorry,” Phil spoke gently, still rubbing Dan’s back. “I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving you. I’m sorry I even thought of doing that. Listen to me,” he said earnestly, “All those things I said to you? They’re not true. You are none of those things, Dan Howell. You’re beautiful and good, and you certainly aren’t worthless.”

Dan sniffled. “Really?” he asked pitifully.

“Really, Dan,” Phil replied. “You’re amazing. I’m the one who messed up, okay? I wasn’t thinking. But I promise I don’t hate you. I really don’t. Why else would I seek you out all the time?”

Dan sniffled. “I just...I thought you were leaving. I thought you’d just, like...used me.”

Phil bit his lip. “I’m sorry for any time I’ve ever made you feel that way, Dan. I would never intentionally use you. I’m in awe of the fact you even let me touch you and make you feel good this way.”

Dan sniffled. “Oh,” he murmured.

“Would you like me to stay the night, Dan?” Phil asked, hoping he’d say yes. Phil didn’t want to leave Dan alone after an episode like this.

Dan nodded, sniffling, so Phil walked around and climbed into the other side of the bed. Dan rolled over to face him, hesitantly moving closer until they were almost touching. “Can I...” Dan started, reaching out for Phil hesitantly. He just felt like he needed the touch to ground him. He felt so odd and floaty.

“Of course, Dan,” Phil replied gently. He took Dan’s hand between his own two and moved closer to Dan so that Dan could sniffle and nuzzle against his chest.

Phil let go of Dan’s hand, wrapping his arms around Dan and holding him. “You’re okay,” he promised. “I’ve got you.”

Dan sniffled. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I didn’t mean to...to freak out on you.”

“It’s okay,” Phil assured. “Just try to get some sleep.”

“You really don’t hate me?”

Phil sighed, resting his chin atop Dan’s head as he held him. “I could never hate you, Dan.”

~•~•~

Morning came, and Dan was the first to wake. This would typically mean that he should be the one to go, go down the street to get a coffee, leave Phil a note to say he could shower if he wanted and that Dan would see him later. That was how they always worked.

And Dan felt better after sleeping, but he worried that if Phil were to leave, he might just fall apart again, if in a less extreme way.

Dan couldn’t bring himself to move. He was still pressed against Phil, who’s chest moved up and down as he snored ever-so-slightly. He felt so stupid for breaking down in front of Phil, but he couldn’t help but think of how good it had felt to be comforted by the man.

Dan felt Phil’s breathing falter, and his chest vibrated with a hum. Dan held his breath, knowing he was waking up.

“Morning,” Phil's deep morning voice murmured, and Dan tried to keep himself from melting at the sound. “How are you feeling?” he asked softly. 

Dan bit his lip. “I’m feeling better,” he replied.

“Good,” Phil replied quietly.

Silence.

“Phil...I...”

“Yeah?” Phil sounded eager, which gave Dan a much welcome boost of confidence. 

“I don’t want to be nothing anymore,” he admitted, holding his breath.

“Dan,” Phil replied, with a sigh. “I’m sorry that I’ve just up and left every time we’ve been together. We always have such a good time, and I actually look forward to the stupid parties that I know you’ll be at. And it’s honestly getting harder and harder to leave afterward. I—I’d love for us to be...something.”

Dan let go of his breath. He looked up at Phil. “So, you wanna, like, get a drink?” he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

Phil smiled as well. “Make it dinner,” he replied, before leaning down to peck Dan on the lips.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr! [@midnightskydan](midnightskydan.tumblr.com)


End file.
